hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
