I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
