Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
