Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
