I CAN MOONWALK!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
