I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
