im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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