if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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