i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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