Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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