Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
