i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
