gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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