That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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