I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
what day is it and did you see me today?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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