doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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