I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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