it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
