The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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