last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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