Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
