drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
