You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
