He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
