you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
