a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
