it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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