im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
