Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
kristin has been a bad kristin
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
