Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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