You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
