I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
