All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
