Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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