He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
