i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
