so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
