Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
