some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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