I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
