oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
