I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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