Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
