Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
