I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
