i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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