I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
