I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
