Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
