You're my little dorito
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Green mimosas i think yes
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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