I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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