I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
