So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
