She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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