If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just invented taco cereal.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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