If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
